Optimistic
by daisychains123
Summary: Maybe he wasn't gay... but he was kinda an optimist too. Kurt/Finn. Set after episode 10 - Ballads .


**Inspired after the latest episode 'Ballad' - Kurt's ballad for Finn (which wasn't actually seen! grr) was called 'I honestly love you', so that song (by Olivia Newton John) was basically the starting point of this fic. Drop a review please, let me know how I did on the light slash (i'm new to all of it). This hasn't been betad so any and all mistakes are mine alone. Thanks for reading, hope you enjoy! **

**Cyan**

* * *

Finn was searching through his locker frantically, letting out a groan when he couldn't find what he was looking for.

"What have you lost now Finn?" Quinn sighed, trying to keep her temper in check as the student body began to trickle outside.

"Nothing!" he said quickly, and at her raised eyebrow he made himself turn to face her. "Listen, I'll see you back at the house… I have to go find... my, uh.. Homework…" Finn didn't meet his girlfriends' eye.

He couldn't_ believe _he had lost it! He certainly couldn't tell Quinn, but she seemed to get that he was worried and just rolled her eyes, before turning and heading towards the parking lot.

Finn let out a breath he had been holding in, gave one last check over his locker, before deciding to work backwards through the day.

He had been to his classes for the day, practise with Kurt, and then Glee club…

Finn smiled at the memory of the ballad the gleeks had sung for him and Quinn. The group had gone through their songs afterwards, and Finn struggled to remember what song his Glee partner, Kurt, had sung. It hadn't really hit home for the quarterback, though he had enjoyed listening to the song. It was one he knew, which surprised him because he hadn't known the one Kurt was talking about during rehearsals… Finn briefly wondered why he'd changed songs, but after a second, decided he needed to get back to the problem at hand – _where did he last have it?_ Finn thought he could vaguely remember it sitting on the bench next to his bag during rehearsals with Kurt. He started towards the auditorium, humming 'Lean on Me' quietly as he went.

* * *

When Finn walked into the auditorium, he was surprised to be met with music. Kurt was sitting at the piano, fingers playing an unfamiliar melody. Finn was about to make his presence known when Kurt began to sing quietly. Deciding it would be rude to interrupt, Finn sat down and listened.

"_Maybe I hang around here_

_A little more than I should_

_We both know I got somewhere else to go_

_But I got something to tell you_

_That I never thought I would_

_But I believe you really ought to know_

_I love you_

_I honestly love you"_

At this line, something that had crept up on him over the past few days clicked in Finns mind, and he stared down at Kurt as he played on, still unaware of his audience.

"_You don't have to answer_

_I see it in your eyes_

_Maybe it was better left unsaid_

_This is pure and simple_

_And you should realize_

_That it's coming from my heart and not my head_

_I love you_

_I honestly love you"_

This was the ballad. This was the original ballad that Kurt had said he was going to sing. For him.

"_I'm not trying to make you feel uncomfortable_

_I'm not trying to make you anything at all_

_But this feeling doesn't come along everyday_

_And you shouldn't blow the chance_

_When you've got the chance to say_

_I love you_

_I honestly love you"_

Kurt sang quietly as he let his fingers wander over the keys of the piano… He had wimped out, at the last minute. He had been too afraid to sing what he really needed too.

"_If we both were born_

_In another place and time_

_This moment might be ending in a kiss_

_But there you are with yours_

_And here I am with mine_

_So I guess we'll just be leaving it at this"_

Kurt remembered how he had frozen when Mr Shuester had asked for his music sheet… he had listened to the terrified little voice of sense in his head, and had handed over the wrong sheet. Instead of singing his feelings as was his original plan, he had done a shoddy job on a song he knew but hadn't practised. A song that wasn't even close to relevant. He was a hypocrite.

_I love you_

_I honestly love you_

_I honestly love you_

Finn could see the bitter smile that was on Kurt's face as the last notes died away. He sat frozen for a second in shock as Kurt turned his back to the audience as he gathered his things. Finn stood abruptly, making his way to the stage.

"Why didn't you sing that in Glee?"

Kurt's figure froze, his shoulders hunching as he spun around.

"Finn!" Kurt's voice cracked with surprise and fear. He didn't meet the quarterbacks' eyes. After a moment of silence, Kurt's shoulders dropped and he sighed in resignation, moving to sit on the edge of the stage.

"You don't have time to deal with.. with _this _right now Finn. It would be unfair of me to expect you to."

Finn forced a smile, shrugging.

"What's one more drama going to harm?"

Kurt shook his head, his eyes closed. Finn moved forward to stand in front of him. He's not really sure what he's doing – he understood what Kurt was singing, he may not be smart, but he's not _dumb_… he just wants to hear Kurt to say it, for some reason he can't identify.

"You weren't meant to hear." Kurt whispered suddenly, looking almost accusingly at him.

"But I did. And you and I both know that it's best to let it out." Finn said back just as quietly.

Kurt remained silent, and Finn reached forward and placed a hand on Kurt's knee.

"Kurt… I want you to tell me everything you feel."

Kurt laughed humourlessly. "What's the point? You and I both know that nothing would come of it Finn. You're with Quinn. And if not her, it'd be Rachel. And if wasn't her, it'd be some other _girl_. You're not _gay_."

Finn scratched his head, feeling awkward. "That doesn't mean I'm not flattered Kurt… You're a decent guy, and if I swung that way – well, for one, my life would be a hell of a lot easier right now."

Kurt snorted delicately. "Told you girls were your problem."

"For another," Finn continued, ignoring Kurt's comment, "I could definitely see myself liking you back."

Kurt met his eye with a shake of the head, the bitter smile returning.

"You and I both know you're just saying that make me feel better."

"No, I'm serious Kurt-"

"Finn, I appreciate the gesture, but I don't do pity. It's not becomi-."

Kurt didn't manage to finish his sentence because Finn had moved forward to stand in between his legs, reaching up a pulling his head down with one hand, the other resting on Kurt's thigh as their lips met.

Kurt's eyes were wide with shock at Finn's actions, but then suddenly his mouth was moving and Finn's tongue was- oh. Oh _wow_. His eyes slid shut and he sighed as Finn's hand moved to cup his check.

Finn didn't really know what he was doing. He'd just got frustrated trying to assure Kurt that he could see himself liking Kurt if he was… _that_ way. Finn held back a moan as Kurt sucked his lower lip into his mouth – yes, he could _definitely _see himself liking Kurt. Y'know. If he was gay. Which he isn't. But he didn't have to be gay to appreciate the things that Kurt was doing with his mouth…

It was that thought that made Finn pull back, breathing heavily as his eyes skimmed over Kurt's slightly rumpled clothes, his face flushed and eyes closed. Kurt slowly licked his lips, which were pink and slightly puffy, and Finn had the sudden urge to kiss him again. He lent forward and placed a soft, chaste kiss to the other boys' lips. When he stood straight again Kurt was staring at him.

"See, that's just unfair." He muttered, and Finn's eyebrows came together in confusion.

"What is?"

"You can't kiss like that _and_ be straight. Not fair at all." Kurt muttered distractedly.

Finn gave his crooked grin and squeezed his hand gently on Kurt's knee.

"Tell you what… if I ever – how did you put it? 'See the light' … you'll be the first person I call."

Kurt smiled back, moving to grab his bag which was next to the piano. He dug out a pen, and walked back to Finn.

"Well, in that case…"

Kurt scribbled his number on a piece of paper which he pressed into Finn's hand. He raised his eyebrows at Finns' embarrassed chuckle.

"So sue me, I'm optimistic. By the way – I found this on the bench," Kurt pulled out a DVD in a slip labelled 'sonogram'. "I am kind of hoping to God it's yours because I don't think anyone could deal with any more baby drama."

Finn took the disk from the other boy, relief washing over him.

"Thanks man, I thought I'd lost this!"

"Yes, well. Be more careful with it from now on. What were you doing with it in here anyway?"

Finn smiled bashfully.

"Singing my feelings out."

Kurt gave a sad smile, his blue-green eyes betraying his hope.

"Well, we both know that works a charm."

* * *

When Finn walked out of the auditorium a few minutes later, he could hear some notes being played on the piano. He recognised the tune as the one Kurt had played not twenty minutes before, and had to bite back another bashful grin.

He looked down at his hand. The sonogram DVD and the scrunched up piece of paper with Kurt's number on it were clenched in it. Finn put the DVD carefully into a pocket of his jacket, zipping it up so he wouldn't lose it again. Kurt's number was still in his hand, and Finn stared at it for a few seconds in consideration. After a moment's hesitation, Finn put the number in his other pocket, before heading out to find Quinn.

Maybe he wasn't gay.

But he was kinda an optimist too.


End file.
